🥶 Muscle Lost, But Not Forgotten: Aunty-Uncle Gains With Dumbbells & Kettlebells 💪🛎️
Disclaimer: I’m not a certified trainer, but I confirm I got one very legit old uncle body. So take my advice with some protein shake, can?
You know lah… once you hit 40+, 50+, suddenly your arms go missing. Not kena kidnapped. Just shrink. Your thighs downgrade from drumstick to satay. Muscle disappear faster than free buffet at company D&D.
This thing got name one – sarcopenia. Fancy word for “you’re getting old and your muscles cannot be bothered anymore.” Around 1% of muscle mass lost every year after age 30. If you’re not doing anything about it, you’ll soon be starring in your own horror movie: Attack of the Shrinking Uncle/Aunty.
So how? Retire muscle already ah?
Eh no lah. Still can fight. Still can flex. No need to sign up for Mr. Olympia or become influencer wear sports bra take mirror selfie. Just need to start somewhere. My somewhere? Dumbbells and kettlebells. Can do at home, void deck, even in front of Netflix. No excuses hor.
💥 Why Dumbbells & Kettlebells?
1. Compact. Don’t take up space like those gym bro machines.
2. Functional. Helps with real-life stuff – like carrying NTUC bags, grandkids, or sprinting for last MRT.
3. Scalable. You small-size now never mind. Got light weights. Slowly build up.
🏋️♀️ 5 “No Wayang” Moves For Real Gains
Do 2-3 rounds, 10-12 reps each. If too easy, increase weight. If too hard, reduce ego.
1. Goblet Squat (Kettlebell or Dumbbell)
* Hold in front of chest.
* Squat down, backside like sitting kopitiam chair.
* Helps build leg power and core.
🗣️ “Don’t cheat hor. Your thighs must feel the burn, not your knees.”
2. Overhead Press (Dumbbell)
* Push weight above your head.
* Good for shoulders and ego.
🗣️ “When you can carry your rice cooker above head, then you know this one working.”
3. Renegade Rows (Dumbbell)
* Plank + row one dumbbell at a time.
* Works back, arms, and your inner swear words.
🗣️ “If you’re cursing halfway, congrats — means you doing it right.”
4. Kettlebell Swings
* Swing from hips, not arms.
* Explosive power, cardio, sweat until can cook egg.
🗣️ “This one ah... uncle favourite. Feel like Tarzan. But need control, not anyhow swing like siao lang.”
5. Farmer’s Carry
* Just walk holding heavy dumbbells.
* Grip strength, posture, core — all activated.
🗣️ “Imagine you walking home from Sheng Siong with 4 watermelons. Same feeling.”
🥗 Eat Like You Mean It
Muscle needs food leh. Not just kopi-C and kaya toast.
* Protein: eggs, tofu, chicken, ikan bilis if must.
* Sleep: Netflix can wait. Muscles grow while you sleep.
* Recovery: Don’t go hero mode. Got pain, rest lah. No shame.
✊ Final Pep Talk From Wayang Side
Some people say, “Aiya I old already, why bother?” Eh hello. You’re not expired. You’re just marinating. Even better than before, just need to wake the muscle up.
So pick up that kettlebell. Shake off that couch-potato muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it. If you use it, maybe next time the MRT uncle will give you his seat.
Be brave. Be wayang. Be buff.
#UncleMuscleRevival
#KettlebellLaoHero
#WayangRunnerGains
Make by Chatgp in my style